So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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