Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Are we still banned from the library?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize