Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
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get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
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The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize