oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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