He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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