Texts From Last Night

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  (334): View more from Alabama

  you're like a bully in the Christmas story

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  (334): you're like a bully in the Christmas story http://tfl.nu/ntys
  Replies (3) Good night (560) Bad night (1648) Order T-Shirt
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.

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  (618): oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me. http://tfl.nu/a68t
  Replies (45) Good night (3449) Bad night (854) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.

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  (508): god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?! (774): Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to. http://tfl.nu/gr6l
  Replies (25) Good night (799) Bad night (4991)
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  (909): View more from California

  I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it

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  (909): I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it http://tfl.nu/7yht
  Replies (40) Good night (1057) Bad night (9132) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind

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  (201): i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind http://tfl.nu/v27a
  Replies (7) Good night (3170) Bad night (1409) Order T-Shirt
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  (347): View more from New York

  Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono

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  (347): Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono http://tfl.nu/a0gb
  Replies (40) Good night (7786) Bad night (863) Order T-Shirt
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.

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  (770): i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises. http://tfl.nu/q0zn
  Replies (52) Good night (6534) Bad night (1597) Order T-Shirt
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now

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  (267): We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now http://tfl.nu/1wl1
  Replies (29) Good night (5128) Bad night (1364) Order T-Shirt
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.

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  (204): For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video. http://tfl.nu/6mdy
  Replies (6) Good night (2952) Bad night (1197) Order T-Shirt
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...

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  (902): Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask? (902): It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet... http://tfl.nu/mgzk
  Replies (19) Good night (2031) Bad night (414)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off

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  (519): my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off http://tfl.nu/nyl9
  Replies (9) Good night (2830) Bad night (389) Order T-Shirt
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.

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  (864): If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up. http://tfl.nu/qg7h
  Replies (11) Good night (2325) Bad night (769) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.

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  (757): Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today. http://tfl.nu/c0a7
  Replies (7) Good night (548) Bad night (1506) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?

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  (215): Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard? http://tfl.nu/x05b
  Replies (11) Good night (485) Bad night (854) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.

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  (609): I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out. http://tfl.nu/kpzq
  Replies (2) Good night (195) Bad night (649)

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