I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
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