just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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