I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
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