Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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