Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
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