can u get pink eye on your cock?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize