dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize