Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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