That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize