Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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