There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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