I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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