What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize