i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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