you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize