Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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