Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize