My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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