do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize