By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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