I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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