You work out of a Hotel?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
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I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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