If i come over, it means nothing
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
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i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
he just fucked me for my cheese..
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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