i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis needs a shock collar
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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