I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize