using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
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