just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Dear god my vagina.
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