Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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