i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize