I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk walkin through police station. America
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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