i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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