I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
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I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
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Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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