I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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