Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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