i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
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my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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