worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize