It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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