Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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