Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
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I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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