I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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