letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to coat check the pizza.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize