His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize