thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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