It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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