I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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