The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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